Sunday, June 6, 2010

length

I haven't written in a very long time, even though I don't think anyone reads this. But I guess people always say that, and someone always reads it.
Lately I've been giving a lot of thought to how life is changing, and seems to be beginning a new chapter in my life. Between new school, new friends, new boyfriend, new management at work, everything seemed to be upside down for a while. It's really reassuring and nice to know that God is so constant. Sometimes I feel like we don't stress the importance of God enough. It's just like we know he is there, and thats that. But lately I have been praying that I will be able to stress God's importance to other people more. I know that sounds silly and simple, but.. it is. Not very many people can wake up and acknowledge God in every breath every day. It is so comforting and yet so frightening to know that God is so omniscient. It really brings to a new meaning to the saying "fear God". I feel like once you literally FEAR him, as in "this guy is so huge, he could poof me into flames at any given moment if he felt like it", you've truly grasped something. Granted, its obviously impossible to grasp the God in his entirety. But to maybe even get a small small glimpse, is so absurd and awesome.

For example, if you don't know me, or if you do, I am completely and wholly obsessed and in love with Africa and every single person living there. I was blessed enough to go on a trip 2 years ago to Zambia, South Africa. There hasn't been a day that has passed in these 2 years that I haven't thought about Africa, the people I met, and how I can someday return. Paul says we should carry eachother's burdens, and I feel like I could give up my life to carry the burdens of that country. It weighs on my heart a lot daily. A few nights ago I had a dream that I was at a church conference similar to the one I actually took part in while I was in Africa. The Africans started to teach us all of their praise dances and songs, and we all just gave ourselves to God while we were worshiping. The clouds started to come down from the sky to meet us where we were on the ground, and we all continued to dance in the clouds. Then all of the adults and children started to gather around a man who was singing. Lifting up the little ones on their shoulders so that they could see him. Now, I have never done drugs, but I can assume that if you are reading this, and you have, its sounds like I did something hardcore before I went to bed. But in that moment, dancing throughout the sky with the people I care about the most, I got to experience a feeling that was beyond comprehension. I woke up and remembered the dream and how "happy" (does not even do it justice) I felt. But there is no possible way that I could reenact that moment in time while on this earth, that feeling of such joy was beyond anything I believe that can be felt here. I can't positively say that this dream was some unbelievable message from God. But I can say with confidence that this is what I believe heaven on earth will soon be like. And that makes me so so so absurdly excited. I cannot wait to feel such joy again, and I hope that everyone I love gets to experience it.

God is good. and God is big. and he can rock your world if you let him.