I haven't written in a long time. Mainly because I have felt like I have nothing to say, or nothing to offer.
Summer has been rough. The first month in Charleston was really hard, really lonely and not a good place for me to be in coming out of a weird semester. I've been seeking prayer and help from a few close friends, and some of you know more in depth the things that have gone on and what things have been so discouraging over the past 4 months. So thank you for loving well, and being the beautiful family I need.
This summer I have been very uncontent. I've never wanted a summer to go by faster, wanted to go home and be with my friends and family and go wild in Greenville. I miss Radius, I miss my family there, I hate sitting at a desk all day, the list could go on forever... God seemed terribly distant 95% of the time.
I was talking to a good/new friend this past week about this summer and how I have not allowed God to be enough, and that maybe this dry lonely time will be good for me to learn that God is wholly enough for me, and learn to love him and keep company with him as foolish as that might sound. Since so many things seemed to crash and burn all at once, God seemed distant and innactive so I had been seeking so many other things to fill my time and my heart. The next morning I was reading in my car before I stepped into work, and read Psalm 34:10.
"The young lions suffer want and hunger, but those who seek the Lord lack no good thing."
As most things go when the Lord really brings his love to my attention, its small realizations over a period of a few days. I got really excited about it, it sounded good, I medidated on it throughout the day at my desk, and thought about it up until tonight. Tonight I was writing a letter to a new friend (lots of new people these days..) and was telling them about the verse and that it had been good to ponder on. And then as I was writing it all just slammed on my chest.
The first time I read this verse and the first 24 hours I thought about it I didn't even sort of relate it to my current situation in Charleston. It was basically a cool verse that I couldn't stop thinking about. But as I wrote I realized what a great thing I had just read. I can be here, in Charleston totally alone with nothing (not the case, btw.) but I can be absolutely wild about the fact that God is enough. Not even just this summer but with my entire life, I'm about to graduate college! It's cool, but in some weird way it just doesnt matter because God is going to be enough. Enough in all ways! He will love me, he will care for me, he will keep me company, he will give me gifts, he will talk to me, he will cry with me, he will provide other people to do all those things with me also, and then we all just go buck wild for eternity.
It's soo sooo good and refreshing and child-like and beautiful and wonderful and joyous that my God will teach me such simple things and how good I can be at ignoring him but he just keeps them on my mind and gently brings me back to the thought and he is so patient with me until I understand and then he rejoices so much when I grasp his concept! Unbelievablly fulfilling.
Thank you Daddy, for giving me breath and fingers. Yes..fingers.
Summer has been rough. The first month in Charleston was really hard, really lonely and not a good place for me to be in coming out of a weird semester. I've been seeking prayer and help from a few close friends, and some of you know more in depth the things that have gone on and what things have been so discouraging over the past 4 months. So thank you for loving well, and being the beautiful family I need.
This summer I have been very uncontent. I've never wanted a summer to go by faster, wanted to go home and be with my friends and family and go wild in Greenville. I miss Radius, I miss my family there, I hate sitting at a desk all day, the list could go on forever... God seemed terribly distant 95% of the time.
I was talking to a good/new friend this past week about this summer and how I have not allowed God to be enough, and that maybe this dry lonely time will be good for me to learn that God is wholly enough for me, and learn to love him and keep company with him as foolish as that might sound. Since so many things seemed to crash and burn all at once, God seemed distant and innactive so I had been seeking so many other things to fill my time and my heart. The next morning I was reading in my car before I stepped into work, and read Psalm 34:10.
"The young lions suffer want and hunger, but those who seek the Lord lack no good thing."
As most things go when the Lord really brings his love to my attention, its small realizations over a period of a few days. I got really excited about it, it sounded good, I medidated on it throughout the day at my desk, and thought about it up until tonight. Tonight I was writing a letter to a new friend (lots of new people these days..) and was telling them about the verse and that it had been good to ponder on. And then as I was writing it all just slammed on my chest.
The first time I read this verse and the first 24 hours I thought about it I didn't even sort of relate it to my current situation in Charleston. It was basically a cool verse that I couldn't stop thinking about. But as I wrote I realized what a great thing I had just read. I can be here, in Charleston totally alone with nothing (not the case, btw.) but I can be absolutely wild about the fact that God is enough. Not even just this summer but with my entire life, I'm about to graduate college! It's cool, but in some weird way it just doesnt matter because God is going to be enough. Enough in all ways! He will love me, he will care for me, he will keep me company, he will give me gifts, he will talk to me, he will cry with me, he will provide other people to do all those things with me also, and then we all just go buck wild for eternity.
It's soo sooo good and refreshing and child-like and beautiful and wonderful and joyous that my God will teach me such simple things and how good I can be at ignoring him but he just keeps them on my mind and gently brings me back to the thought and he is so patient with me until I understand and then he rejoices so much when I grasp his concept! Unbelievablly fulfilling.
Thank you Daddy, for giving me breath and fingers. Yes..fingers.
