Being longterm injured means a lot of down time. Being longterm injured without any social media means a lot of time to fill starring at something besides my computer screen. So naturally, I take to the book shelf. The first thing I see is my line of old journals, specifically a little leather one spilling out with papers and about to break clean off the binding.
August 3, 2011:
CONSCIENCE
LORDSHIP
GRATITUDE
DESIRE FOR HEAVEN
All these points are scribbled down in funny handwriting, from the last Timotheos meetings at Blake's house. It's funny now to think I can specifically remember where I was sitting, and the examples given to us of what it would look like to give Jesus lordship over all areas of life. It's taken me 2 years and 3 months to get enough guts to let him have it.
Social media is huge. Just freaking huge. There are perhaps 10 people that would say know me. I mean really really know me. So that leaves 1,000 some odd other acquaintances to only know me by my written words and pictures. And man, do I try to be cool.
Just in the past week I've noticed just how often I either quote something in my head that I would be writing on twitter/facebook or think about all the cool pictures I could be taking and posting to Instagram. I would say that 10% of the time my motives are to glorify the Lord. The other 90% is just so that I'll look awesome. And there's nothing worse, might I add, than lying in your bed and comparing yourself to everyone else's worlds that seem to be moving while yours is seemingly very still. I know that my life is anything but still and the Lord is doing incredibly things with me/through me. But social media makes me fall into the lies: I'm too much, I'm not enough, I need this, I want that, I should move there, why am I not engaged, what am I doing with my life...
"God, what would Jesus say to me if he was at the foot of my bed?" - July 9, 2011
I am a perfect amount. God is especially fond of me. I am free to be myself. I am not a slave. I am very free.
