Friday, January 27, 2012

Redeemer

8 months ago I was sitting in a room full of people I barely knew, pouring my heart (and tears) all over the floor.

8 months ago I realized how one thing (or lack of) had effected my life and my view of God.

Until 8 months ago I had managed to suppress it somewhere deep down in my soul for 20 years.

4 days ago I was sitting in a room with a few people I knew and a few people I was getting to know better.

4 days ago I expected to be pouring my heart and tears on the floor because of sadness, and explaining what I thought I still lacked.

4 days ago my heart and tears were indeed all over my living room floor.

Not because of what I lacked, but because of what I have been so graciously given. I couldn't stop crying because the mere thought of how deeply and truly I love and appreciate all the men God has placed in my life in the past 8 months. They have truly been vessels of his Fatherly love, showing me my worth, and that I am a daughter of the Most High. He has made himself known through you.

I am slowly learning that even though I often feel "not enough" and "too much" all at the same time, my desires and my longings reflect the heart of God. I desire to be loved, payed attention to, thought to be beautiful and thought to be important. Can you imagine how much more God desires those things from us? And how often we ignore it.


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